The Christmas Pig Special 2: Return of the Christmas Pig
He's back! And he's bringing a beautiful box of Sad & Famous sweets to the good boys and girls
Nothing I find online will ever horrify, and thus delight me, more than this hideous “honking latex pig” for dogs I saw last year— which has less Christmas vibes and more bring-out-the-gimp vibes. Just its horrible, uncomfortable, angry expression and careless pink spray paint! Why is his mouth like that?? Just slap a Santa hat on and call it Christmas! Amazing. Quality! Anyway, I’m bringing him back to usher in the Sad & Famous Christmas season yet again.
You’re probably inundated with gift lists from all your fave newsletters (which I personally love but I know some are overwhelmed by it) so I wanted to offer up a little S&F spin on things. I have made two lists that feature the main things I will be doing over the holidays, and encourage you to join me! Those things are: rotting in bed and transcending my pain thru shopping. I hate, actually, how like every year since 2016 everyone’s like “this past year was the worst ever! The new year will be better!” bc…lol, the chaotic universe laughs at that shit. But 2023 has been such a pure pit of stench that I’m like, get in the bin, let’s turn the page on this mf’er, I’m ready. So hopefully the links below will help you just like hunker down until 2023 finally gurgles away.
I have started an affiliate bookshop for this newsletter on bookshop.org for all the books I review here. It only works for the UK (I think). If you’d like to support this newsletter, that is a way you can do it!
Rot in bed:
Mothcub — I like the YouTube channel of illustrator, Lily. It is totally random, there is no theme except, I guess, her sense of humour. I have watched most of these videos because they make me laugh. I put them on when my attention span is obliterated and I can’t focus on a full tv show. You could start with her latest video: there are 71 lions in this movie
While you’re rotting in bed, look out the window, and then go back and read the entirety of this newsletter by
(possibly the best newsletter ever?) on the 72 microseasons observed in Japan.Fireplaces & Campfires— I am the queen of the 8h relaxing fireplace video. I have watched so many of these, it’s kind of insane. I have corresponded with relaxing campfire video makers. I should add my expertise to my CV. Remember, if you’re depressed and alone, a fireplace is a friend—it turns your tv from a black void into a cozy bud. I have made a few best of playlists for you, depending on what you’re up for. Even though autumn has passed, I’m including it because there’s some dang nice fires on there. Also mixed in are other seasonal nature relaxation vids that I enjoy.
Barbra Streisand, 1970 Barbara Streisand’s memoir My Name is Barbra. Run, don’t walk, to get this memoir of a woman who remembers everything she ever ate, wore or liked the look of. I’m linking to my Bookshop here but really, you should get the audiobook—like unless you cannot stand audiobooks, you gotta go audio on this one. I will 100% be writing about this at some point but the audiobook is 48h long (12h longer than Anna Karenina!) so it may take me a minute. I cannot express how much I love this book. I was nervous about taking it on because of it’s length, but honestly, I wish it would never end. She wrote it herself and she reads it herself and she has the greatest heavy Brooklyn accent of all time. She’s extremely dry and funny. There are audio clips of her performances in the audiobook, which is great. I would put this in the cozy memoir category along side Carrie Fisher’s memoirs and Anjelica Huston’s, so perfect for this time of year. I am walking around now narrating my actions in my own head in her accent.
Books I read this year that I couldn’t put down: The Guest—Emma Cline, Darling—India Knight, Queen K—Sarah Thomas, Birnam Wood—Eleanor Catton, The Writing Retreat—Julia Bartz, You Be Mother—Meg Mason, Again, Rachel—Marian Keyes, Cold People—Tom Rob Smith, Piranesi—Susanna Clarke, I Thought You Loved Me—MariNaomi, No One is Talking About This—Patricia Lockwood
Transcend Pain thru Shopping:
Sitting suit— This is the best purchase I’ve made this year. I actually had to go back and check I hadn’t already written about it for S&F, but I think I just feel so rapturous about it, I had written it in my mind. It’s essentially a lightweight duvet with a zipper and huge hood. Instead of pockets there are open slits so you can easily access your own pockets. It’s full length and water resistant, a major + for walking the dog in Glaswegian weather. It’s one size only—enormous— and gender neutral, so you don’t have to worry about it being “flattering”, you can wear a bulky sweatshirt under it, you can wear leggings and a tank, no one will know. It’s by a Danish company who does collabs with artists and make them in all kinds of wild patterns. The one I got is like a blue and white kimono type pattern that I purchased from a local shop. I don’t see it online but the one I linked above is the one I’d probably get.
I don’t own this but I would own it. I saw
write about it in Ground Condition and thought it was pretty cool. Esteé Lauder’s granddaughter, Aerin, whose family are the benefactors of the Neue Galerie in NYC, has been doing a series of collabs with the Neue Galerie to create lipsticks based on famous works of art. This is the latest one is a red inspired by fashion photographer Madame d’Ora.
From BahiaRugs Get a beautiful Moroccan rug and hang it on your wall. Also here and here. Love a wall textile!
Last year I wrote an embarrassingly extensive Christmas candle rundown. I will not put us all through that again but here are the new candles I’m working with this season in addition to the old faves mentioned last year.
Folk by FieldDay—Luna
My friend Julie is a massage therapist and uses Be Chilled by Highland Wax Company in her practice and it smells incredible—all essential oils used, not fragrance. Very nourishing. One jar lasts a long time.
Will giant crystal barrettes help? Maybe!
Give yourself a little sparkle this time of year, you’ll feel better. Nobody’s going to come to your house and do it for you, so get something easy like this, which is what I have.
The Sad & Famous xmas tree This year I am donating to St. Mungo’s, a homeless charity here in the UK who I especially like because they do not separate people from their pets if they need to stay in a shelter and they’re one of the only organisations to do so. Not having to give up a pet can be live saving for both animal and person!
If you’re in Scotland, consider donating to or joining Living Rent, which I did this year, and help support activism for safe, affordable housing during our horrible, endless housing and cost of living crisis!
I adopted BFFs Sam and Hector for 2024 from The Manchester Donkey Sanctuary. Donkeys really break my heart because they are humble and forgotten about. Please consider donating to help any animal anywhere, a local shelter (here’s one a friend from high school runs in Colorado), a wildlife preserve, Rick O’Barry’s Dolphin Project is great, Farm Sanctuary in the US is great…whatever speaks to you! Humans have fucked things up so badly for all animals everywhere, let’s help them (I’m sorry, but this is a newsletter about sadness!). Shopping to adopt an animal in need really will help you transcend your pain, I can promise you that.
Stay safe and alive out there!
I am solidly among those gift-list haters, and (unsurprisingly) I loved this one.